About my Love prospective

I've took a love test by a psyc. professional last friday in fellowship, and here's my answers.
1. Each have own's advantage, build upon an equal status.
2. Start relationship only when both understand the true meaning of career life and love, reconized the career goals and start points.
3. Final goal is to become a couple with same interest.
4. My future wife should be a nice person yet can help myself.
5. I wish to build up a relationship through working and learning progress.
6. I think the best way to fix and concrede a relationship is ONLY through making myself more perfect for my dear.
7. I wish I can marry her a.s.a.p.
8. I think the best way to understand my dear is through careful obversations, communications and trials.
9. If within the progress I mean someone better than my dear who likes me, I will honestly tell the truth to my dear.
10. It's always not going smooth, in times of crisises, I think best is not to occur, but if it's already been occured it's a good thing coz it a trial for us to understand each other better.
11. If I found out my dear already loved someone when I'm pursuing her, I'll stop and wait for chances to show myself.
12. If somewhat in time the love boat got sink due by my dear, I will say goodbye and each pursue another directions.
13. If my dear betrayed me, I will take it as a lesson and start over again.
14. If I tried so many times and time passes and I became an old cake(which I am.. hee), I will self-reflect whether my picking conditions is realistical enough.

For these results, I scored 33, which shows I can do even better, coz 35+ is best level.

But in order for me to improve to 35+ I need your help my dear, can u help me?
To become my private for life, given our goal is to receive our rings on the red carpet. Please~

Interesting news from BBC

"I squeezed several drops on the floor and saw a clear liquid, so I put four drops into each eye. In about a minute, my eyes felt cold and then sealed closed," the monk told the Nation.
An elderly Thai monk who mistook a tube of superglue for eye drops can see again after doctors unglued one eye.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4289777.stm

The Helipad Open (tennis)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/photo_galleries/4289977.stm

Police gaffe irks Japanese leader

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4287899.stm

Flintstones@LeBiftheque on Satnitez

If it isn't the table is filling with dishes rather than leaves, I would pretty much believe myself went back to dinosaur period, having dinner with all these nice characters in Flintstones.
Although "Picture speaks more than a thousand words", I won't post any pictures or photos when we are having "ALL YOU CAN EAT HUGERibs" with Bloodily tasty, sweet and sour BBQ sauces all over our hands and mouths, u can imagine right? Good enough. It's quite an interesting mixed group of friends /w quite different lifestyles; With some work/study hard=play hard people, some highly intellual with life ambitions people, some smart studying and have fun people, and of course, some christians, some catholics with varies stages or areas. We even speak in bilingos most of the time. U might think this is quite a usual thing to see in here, but think again this most likely not going to happen in Britonz, nor even a chinese rest@TO. I'm impressed with everyone have a high mutual respectives towards one and other, plus some are making up conversations, some are particpating to understand others, and some are trying to make good responses.

*ps. later on this new friend brought me to another new friend's friend birthday party@Tak1, they seems like my highschool chinese friends type, but few of them are actually like my sister Candy, like Lotus(plant), many sheeps, some wolves, haven't seen wolves /w sheep skins yet. But some are mature sheep /w wolf looks which is what I really glad about. Not to talk about I don't know the rules of games and many, I dont' even remember how to blow like river as I did in primary school. But I'm try my best to show them Christian have freedom for anything, just a matter whether we like to do that or not in order to please or unplease the one who gave us the unconditional love which forgave our sins already.

The story of Sheeps and Wolves...

Introduction
It's this movie, The world without thieves, and a Japanese drama, The Tragedy of M, insipired me to think in such a way like sheparding in bible. However, and again, this blog is for non-spiritual material so u can find the bible related part of this blog in my xanga one. I've kind of shared the story to two people, my dear is one of them and the other is someone I've know not long, so kind of diging deeper to the relation. Since I've got too much in the novel I write, so I rather wanna share this in here instead. Same time, I wanna ask for forgiveness from my dear.

The Story...

The Hook:
(from TofM) Mr. Nice Secure born in a happy family, until a robber came robbed their place at his age of 5, so from then Mr. Nice got hurt and don't wanna same thing happen to his life ever. He wants to secure everything he did/have, and be nice to anyone just so that no body will be his enemy. Until he met Miss Mysterious, Nice was a supervisor of a security corporation, a fiance of that corporation's CEO's daughter, and saved 3 million dollars for his future. But after an encounter with Miss Mysterious, she targeted him and set him up. He got fired, got dumped and all the money got stolen by her yet she insist he deserved it and even have to say sorry to her. He lived deeply into the shock and angry coz he thought everybody in his case will think himself is rightious. But just why she insist his apoligies to her for when he's rightious?

The Answer:
The story reveal itself bits by bits, as Mr Nice found out that Miss M's ex-bf, passed away just before he met her, so he thought the dealth might be related to himself...(After a series of thinking he is right, nothing related to him then another plot came prove him wrong...blah blah blah) He realize his character(protective to himself, need high security, dont wanna have enemy by helping others..etc) attracts others to use him, and offen became target for gangs to threat on. There's one time he got threated again by gangs, he cried for help and a couple helped him, and you bet, it is Miss M and her ex-bf, her ex save Mr Nice and Nice just said thanks and left. What he didn't realized is the gangs return and stabbed her ex, eventuelly died, she got raped.. blah blah blah. .ruined her life. When Mr. Nice found out the truth, his mind collapsed...

"Life's just a temperory assignment" The meaningful conclusion:
After all these "series of searching" for the truth by Mr. Nice and Miss. M, they both understand more and more of each other and they understand reasons behind their actions and behaviours. They evolves from Hates, to Loves, moreover, since the dramaticness of the events, they treasure each other very much. and More...

"Where's the Sheeps and Wolves?"

U r right? I haven't mentioned the animals yet. Coz Sheeps and Wolves are ourselves, in OUR lives. "Now I get it." you might thought, "U wanna tell us about the infamously common quote, even from that thief movie-- 'The sheep finally realized there are wolves in this world, but it's too late!" Well... U r just partly correct, since that's not all of "The process" of realization and I will used the above story to explain "The process".

My learning curve -- to this day: A wolf, learning to be like the goat for scarfice.
I believe everyone started as a sheep, innocient, just run without destination, until they met the wolf who hurt them. Mr. Nice born like sheep, until the robber came who hurt him like wolf. After, he became protective to himself and do many things which actually hurt others without notice, this is like learning to be a wolf but not admit as one. There's also another path, which happened to Miss. M which indirect hurt by Mr. Nice and hurt by the gangs and consequence of her ex's death, Miss. M evolve into a wolf instantly. Now when Miss. M hurt Mr. Nice, Nice evolve into a wolf too to fight back with Miss. M. Now let's recall the characters of wolves, they eat sheeps and fight selffishly for food among others and die according to their own causes. But that's not the story leads into because there are directions to choose to be with even for wolves. Wolfs can either choose to be a wolf with sheep's skin, or sheep with wolf's skin. Better explaination;
a) a wolf's nature, but learning/acting to be like a innocient sheep just to get close the sheeps. Or
b) knowing their nature lead to extinction so they return to sheeps' nature, but acting or looks like a wolf in order to survive in the croud of wolves.
Refering back to Nice and Miss M's story, while they are fighting and Nice searching the truth, Nice evolving into type a) who he thought he is always innocient, yet he hurt M, and M who's evoloving into type b) who realizing her hurting deeds return to her against her favour in long run, yet there are bad people around her so she have to act bad to save herself.

Now the question is, what's "A wolf, learning to be like the goat for scarfice."?
*Btw this is indeed the farest I can think of at this moment from the progress of my own, there are probaby more stages I can realize after sometime I grow more mature.
The key to the successful relationship between Mr. Nice and Miss M is they both later evolved again into wolves which learn to be forgive, and love each other unconditionally without return. I reffered this to "the goat for scarfice" under a bible prospective so I don't explain why in here. But for each term, like why they are "wolves" is refering to our imperfectness of our kind. Since we're all imperfect, thus we will hurt anyone eventually no matter how good we think or we can become. therefore admiting our imperfectness, or sin, we admit ourselves as wolves. Now, for the forgiveness is also from our own's imperfection so we should lower our expectations to anybody(expectation can be different from our goals). And finally love each other unconditionally without return is an ideal to wolves, we can never get to there, that's why I refer as wolves learning to be ... There is only theoratically there are only Alpha and Omega: From the ultimate reason of my exist which's beyond man's ability to understand in time, and For the ultimate consequece of my exist which's beyond man's ability to understand in time. Which what ever that Alpha = Omega => the Almighty not bounded under dimensions of man's knowledage, therefore conceptually UNKNOWN unless this Almighty let us know him/it..undescribable. Only this UNKNOWN can love us unconditionally when we exists, plus we can do what ever we want taking our own cause and effect. for More.. go to my Xanga blog.

So, honestly I think myself is a wolf learning to be like the goat for scarfice. I'm imperfect, I do and will hurt you dear, I wish u can forgive me, I know I went to the wedding, ignoring what u worried and needs is my fault. Also, I cannot be full truth in outside, like we both are, we cannot be realself, we used to not being realself too long for others, but through arts, writings or songs we can express ourselves. Please forgive me dear, and I know what's ur worries, pass to me. U knew me too, just u don't know what actually happened. I love you dear, not because of anything, it's unconditional ideally, well.. at least I learn to love u like that.

I'm sorry...

...

Sorry, I thought I have many things to say on this day,
but just cannot at the moment.

...to my dear

I need you.

Feb 12, 2005

p.s. : We help too much for family, friends, others, but ignoring our needs. Sounding as a very self-satisfactionary statement, but what's really hiding; Are our ambitious to control/limiting our friends by making them guilty, appreciations from our work for others although we pretended for no returns, Hiding our true emotions, Complaining about things, and too/proud from our deeds.

We are "the Helpers". Yet, there are two directions to choose as we growing up.

When we are facing pressure or crisis, failure and helpless, we'll become "the Asserter"; We'll angry, 'people will forget how they got treated good in the first place', suddenly verbally or physically offense or refuse helping somebody, have violent intentions especially to ppl close with us, and think ourselves as victims.

But my dear it's alright, coz there's a cure. We can also be "the Romantic" way which we understand our hearts inwardly, focusing from others attentions into more of self-developments, we admitting our owns emotions even the negative ones, also; understands that we must not have to do something to gain others' love, we'll use arts to express our inner self(like ur blog, my violin and novelwriting), treat others more truthful, sharing communications and to give without returns.

Let's mark today as just a start, preparing our hearts for our romantic life.

Enjoying the Waiting for u/me is also an essential part of Valentine u know? hee~ Smile~

MBA, Innovative "red-pocket" and Back in 20-mins.

It's Chinese New Year, my year of the rooster; so some might know my age right away from that. Starting the year, Thanks god, thanks my parents, thanks my uncles and aunts, for their wonderful celebration held not long ago. Especially, one of my aunt, who shown extra-ordinary creativity for my generations. She used 10 shares of a commonly known bank stock as our new-years' red-pockets, I was like WHAT?! She 'taught' us how to "save for the future" as her motives. She also paid the extra $50/person fee to order us the Stock certificates for the shares. Hee.. yeah, I will frame that cert. asap.

I'm writing my novel, and cannot stop it even when I know the tests are coming. Pls really help or pray for me in this one. Plus, also I'm kind of starting taking online MBA courses, and very soon I think I have to start working pt in TD, mostly likely I can only teach one more violin student(makes total of three) per week, plus fellowship and sunday services. Recently helping mom about trading our house for a new one, have so many managements to do especially in time. I'm feeling so sorry to those I cannot care that much from now. I'm letting go everything, so do my best, leave the rest. If things stays, let it be, otherwise so be it.

Today, my dad went back to HK, nothing special besides the new airport terminal looks nice, and how can that be possible this morning very foggy and rain, just took me 20-mins to drive back home. I MUST be really wanna sleep or something. My mom didn't say too much about it either.

Determination, Prejudgement and Alternatives

Determination does not just means coming up a decision fast, it's about making a good response without using predictions or judgements as truth. Easy to say, but it takes a lot of experiences and time to archive. If u had a lot of negatives to certain things, people, or events in life, but none regarding ur own, just like maybe what I am doing right now; for instance, u think others are just chessbots to use with, or he/she looks like a knight so he/she must be or very high chance is a knight. Then, I shall warn us, including myself, that WE ARE NOT MATURE enough! Pls, recap, reflect, and refresh. There are no perfect model of such so call "Mature" person or matter, since learning is an endless path towards eternity. But recaping the beginning of this paragraph, a model of such could be someone throught of every single possiblities and make a response that will bring balance on all outcomes. This is virtually impossible, there's few sayings; "There's always an alternative", "In terms of social preference, there's always a point have higher preference than ALL points". Ultimately, and again; The Final, goes by Alpha and for Omega.

Winterlicious Yesterday

Yesterday's sunday school, my class behaved well and had a fun class. I wish Father likes it. I really wanna give them a good credit, I did in terms of Timbits. Then went with family to browse for open house with Cynthia's daddy agent. Few are really not bad, we'll make more considering in times ahead.

Afterawards, went to Winterlicious with Derek/Betsys' side of friends. The place call Winsor's Arm, very classy in terms of antique. But the food is just ok, so most likely I won't attend there again by purpose. I wish if I dont' have my dear, I will.. haha.. hey! My gal is very special to me, we both knew. Not easy to be replaced by some instant encounters. My dear, r u the same? Since ur side was having the same thing last nite, remembering u've said the most couraging love is to be involved to each other but not limiting each other. True, the only thing I worry is your returning to Christ; but then u know how patient I can be, so pray for u not feeling too bothering for that.

Our father is keep on blessing us so we'll see.

My Xanga Blog

I'm using Xanga for sometime now, so far it's more of a Spiritually Blog.
Depending on my time, I will write some non-spiritual blog in this one.

http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=Techdog_Perkin